January 24th - Today is the 24th day of the year, with only 341 days remaining in 2006.

Canned Beer Birthday
In 1935, Krueger's Cream Ale, the first beer in cans, was sold by Krueger Brewing Company in Richmond, Virginia, thus making it possible for the first time to chug down a beer and then crush the container in your hand or against your forehead. Hoist a can in celebration!


"Universal Time" (UT) which is sometimes referred to, now colloquially, as "Greenwich Mean Time" (GMT)
LAST QUARTER - Jan 22   3:14 p.m.
NEW MOON - Jan 29   2:15 p.m.
FIRST QUARTER - Feb 5   6:28 a.m.
FULL MOON - Feb 13   4:44 a.m.


BEER TROUBLESHOOTING
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.


ACTING -
1883 Estelle Winwood [Goodwin], England, actress (Miracle on 34th Street)
1915 Ernest Borgnine, Hamden CT, actor (Ice Station Zebra, McHale's Navy, Marty)
1920 Jerry Maren, Boston MA, actor (munchkin-Wizard of Oz, Mayor McCheese)
1943 Sharon Tate, Dallas TX, actress (Valley of the Dolls) [D: 08/09/69]
1949 John Belushi, Chicago IL, comedian/actor (SNL, Blues Brothers) [D: 03/05/82]
1951 Yakov Smirnoff, Odessa Ukraine, comedian (Buckaroo Banzai )

ARTISTIC -
1911 C[atherine] L[ucile] Moore, US, sci-fi author (Judgment Night)

HISTORIC -
1918 Oral Roberts, Pontotoc County OK, televangelist (Oral Roberts College)
1924 Edward John Spencer, 8th Earl Spencer, London England, landowner/father of Diane [D: 03/29/92]

MUSIC -
1939 Ray Stevens, Clarkdale GA, singer/songwriter (Ahab the Arab, The Streak)
1941 Neil Diamond, Brooklyn NY, singer/songwriter/actor (Jazz Singer)
1941 Aaron Neville, New Orleans singer/keyboardist (Neville Brothers)

SCIENCE -
1888 Ernst Heinrich Heinkel, Grunbach Germany, inventor (first rocket-powered aircraft) [D: 01/30/58]
1928 Desmond Morris, Wiltshire England, zoologist (Human Ape, Body Language)

SPORTS -
1958 Frank Ullrich, East Germany, world biathlon champion
1968 Mary Lou Retton, Fairmont WV, gymnast (Olympics-gold/2 silver/2 bronze-84)


1848 James Marshall finds gold in Sutter's Mill in Coloma, CA.
1901 First games played in baseball's American League.
1902 Denmark sells Virgin Islands to USA.
1908 Robert Baden-Powell begins the Boy Scout movement.
1922 Eskimo Pie patented by Christian K Nelson of Iowa (not an Eskimo).
1923 Aztec Ruins National Monument, New Mexico established.
1925 Moving picture of a solar eclipse taken from dirigible over Long Island.
1950 Jackie Robinson signs highest contract ($35,000) in Dodger history.
1958 After warming to 100,000,000º, 2 light atoms are bashed together to create a heavier atom, resulting in first man-made nuclear fusion.
1962 Jackie Robinson is first Black elected to Baseball Hall of Fame.
1962 Brian Epstein signs management contract with the Beatles.
1986 Voyager 2 makes first fly-by of Uranus (81,593 km), finds new moons.
2003 The United States Department of Homeland Security officially begins operation.
MORE EVENTS

SOURCE: Earth Calendar
Economic Liberation Day - Togo


THE BEER PRAYER
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen.


You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. - Frank Zappa


BEERI-BEERI: Fraternity disorder. (WordFoolery)

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