Welcome to the Jest-A-Day Journal published by Samantics Press
March 4th - Today is the 63rd day of the year, with only 302 days remaining in 2006.
Mars' Month - March was the original beginning of the year, and the time for the resumption of war.
March Flowers: Daffodil or Jonquil [Yellow] -  Affection, Cheerfulness, Desire, Grants Wishes, New Beginnings, Respect, and Sympathy
March Birthstone: Aquamarine, Bloodstone - Courage

Jest-A-Day Journal Celebrates Today's ThemeTavern Day
Marking the opening of America's first tavern in Boston, by Samuel Cole, in 1634.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Moon Phases
"Universal Time" (UT) which is sometimes referred to, now colloquially, as "Greenwich Mean Time" (GMT)
NEW MOON - Feb 28   0:32 a.m.
FIRST QUARTER - Mar 6   8:15 p.m.
FULL MOON - Mar 14   11:35 p.m.
LAST QUARTER - Mar 22   7:10 p.m.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Humor List
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious
Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
I always know my limit when drinking.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening, Officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Celebrity Birthdays
ACTING -
1913 John Garfield, NY NY, actor (Air Force, Destination Tokyo, Juarez) [D: 05/21/52]
1939 Paula Prentiss (Ragusa), San Antonio TX, actress (Parallax View, He & She)
1954 Catherine O'Hara, Toronto Ontario, comedienne (Beetlejuice, SCTV)
1958 Patricia Heaton, Bay Village OH, actress (Debra-Everybody Loves Raymond)
1961 Steven Weber, Queens NY, actor (Brian-Wings, Hamburger Hill)
1968 Patsy Kensit, London England, rocker/actress (Lethal Weapon 2, 21, Hanover St)
1969 Chastity Bono, LA CA, actress (VH1's Celebrity Fit Club 3)
1990 Andrea Bowman, Columbus OH, actress (Julie Mayer-Desperate Housewives)

ARTISTIC -
1782 Johann Wyss, Bern Switzerland, folklorist/writer (edited father's Swiss Family Robinson) [D: 03/21/1830]
1914 Ward Kimball, Minneapolis MN, Academy Award winning animator for the Walt Disney Studios {D: 07/08/2002]

HISTORIC -
1909 Harry Helmsley, NY NY, billionaire builder (Empire State Building) [D: 01/04/97]
1942 Charles Krulak, Quantico VA, 31st Commandant of the Marine Corps July '95 - June '99

MUSIC -
1925 Paul Mauriat, Marseille France, orchestra leader (L'Amour est bleu)
1932 Miriam Makeba, South Africa, singer (Grammy-Pata Pata, Mas Que Nada)
1944 Bobby Womack, Cleveland OH, R&B singer/guitarist (I'm Your Puppet)
1948 Chris Squire, Kingsbury England, bass/backing vocalist (Yes-Owner Of A Lonely Heart)
1950 Emilio Estefan Jr., Havana Cuba, rocker (Miami Sound Machine-1 2 3)

SCIENCE -
1754 Benjamin Waterhouse, Newport RI, physician (tested smallpox vaccine) [D: 10/02/1846]
1835 Giovanni Schiaparelli, Italy, astronomer (discovered canals of Mars) [D: 07/04/10]
1923 Sir Patrick Moore, Pinner England, astronomer/writer (A-Z of Astronomy)

SPORTS -
1888 Knute Rockne (Rokne), Voss Norway, US football player/coach (Notre Dame) [D: 03/31/31]
1891 Clarence "Dazzy" Vance, Orient OH, NL pitcher (led NL in strike-outs 7-years) HoF '55 [D: 02/16/61]
1961 Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini, Youngstown OH, boxer (WBA lightweight title)
1964 Emilia Eberle, Arad Romania, gymnast, scored a perfect 10 in 1980 Olympics
1982 Landon Donovan, Ontario CA, U.S. Soccer Athlete of the Year in 2003/MLS All-Time Best XI

The Jest-A-Day Journal Today In History
1681 Charles II of England grants a land charter to William Penn for the area that will later become Pennsylvania.
1789 In New York City, the First Congress declares the new Constitution of the United States is in effect (9 senators, 13 representatives).
1801 Thomas Jefferson, the 3rd President of the USA, becomes the first US president inaugurated in Washington, DC.
1841 Inauguration of William Henry Harrison as 9th President of the USA. Harrison died exactly one month into his term — the briefest presidency in the history of the office - and was the first president to die in office.
1861 Confederate States adopt "Stars & Bars" flag, on the same day that Abraham Lincoln is inaugurated.
1913 The United States Department of Commerce and United States Department of Labor are established by splitting the duties of the 10-year-old Dept. of Commerce and Labor.
1930 Coolidge Dam in Arizona dedicated.
1945 In Britain, Princess Elizabeth, later to become Queen Elizabeth II, joins the British Army as a driver.
1950 US Premiere of Walt Disney's animated film Cinderella.
1977 First CRAY 1 supercomputer shipped to Los Alamos Laboratories, New Mexico.
1985 War veterans returned to the "Bridge over the River Kwai".
1997 Comet Hale-Bopp directly above the Sun (1.04 AU).
MORE EVENTS

The Jest-A-Day Journal World-Wide Celebrations - source http://www.earthcalendar.net/

SOURCE: Earth Calendar
ADMISSION DAY ** March 4, 1791 - Vermont (14th State)
Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras - Australia
Town Meeting Day (Vermont) - United States of America

The Jest-A-Day Journal Humor For The Day
THE DEBT
It's forty below zero one winter night in Alaska. Pat is drinking at his local tavern and the bartender says to him, "You owe me quite a bit on your tab."

"Sorry," says Pat, "I'm flat broke this week."

"That's okay," says the bartender. "I'll just write your name and the amount you owe me right here on the wall."

"But," says Pat, "I don't want any of my friends to see that."

"They won't," says the bartender. "I'll just hang your parka over it until it's paid."

The Jest-A-Day Journal Quote For The Day
The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar. - Sam Ewing (Mar 1999, The Sun)

The Jest-A-Day Journal Daffynition from WordFoolery
DRAFTY BUILDING: Tavern. (WordFoolery)

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