Welcome to the Jest-A-Day Journal published by Samantics Press
March 5th - Today is the 64th day of the year, with only 301 days remaining in 2006.
Mars' Month - March was the original beginning of the year, and the time for the resumption of war.
March Flowers: Daffodil or Jonquil [Yellow] -  Affection, Cheerfulness, Desire, Grants Wishes, New Beginnings, Respect, and Sympathy
March Birthstone: Aquamarine, Bloodstone - Courage

Jest-A-Day Journal Celebrates Today's ThemeEmployment Office Day
In 1894, the first employment office in the U.S. opened in Seattle, Washington.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Moon Phases
"Universal Time" (UT) which is sometimes referred to, now colloquially, as "Greenwich Mean Time" (GMT)
NEW MOON - Feb 28   0:32 a.m.
FIRST QUARTER - Mar 6   8:15 p.m.
FULL MOON - Mar 14   11:35 p.m.
LAST QUARTER - Mar 22   7:10 p.m.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Humor List
ACTUAL RESUME BLUNDERS
- Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
- "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
- "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."
- "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."
- "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"
- "I am a rabid typist."
- "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
- "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."
- "I procrastinate -- especially when the task is unpleasant."
- "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
- "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."
- "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."
- "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
- "Qualifications: No education or experience."
- "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."
- "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

The Jest-A-Day Journal Celebrity Birthdays
ACTING -
1908 Sir Rex (Reginald Carey) Harrison, Huyton England, actor (My Fair Lady, Dr Doolittle) [D: 06/02/90]
1927 Jack Cassidy, Queens NY, actor (The Eiger Sanction, Tony Award-She Loves Me) [D: 12/12/76]
1934 James B Sikking, LA CA, actor (Lt. Howard Hunter-Hill St Blues, Star Trek 3)
1936 Dean Stockwell, Hollywood CA, actor (Quantum Leap, JAG)
1939 Samantha Eggar, Hampstead England, actress (Sara Templeton-Commander in Chief, Dr Doolittle)
1944 Paul Sand, Santa Monica CA, comedian/actor (SCTV, Rabbi Polonsky-Joan of Arcadia)
1954 Marsha Warfield, Chicago IL, comedian/actress (Roz-Night Court, Caddyshack II)
1974 Kevin Connolly, NY, actor (Entourage, The Notebook, John Q )
1989 Jacob Lloyd, Ft Collins CO, actor (Anakin Skywalker-Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace)

ARTISTIC -
1824 James Merritt Ives, NYC, lithographer (Currier & Ives) [D: 01/03/1895]
1853 Howard Pyle, Wilmington DE, illustrator/writer (The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood) [D: 00/09/11]
1955 Penn Jillette, Greenfield MA, magician/actor (Penn & Teller)

HISTORIC -
1824 Elisha Harris, Westminster VT, physician/found American Public Health Association [D: 01/31/1884]
1893 Emmett J Culligan, Yankton, SD, water purification/Horatio Alger Award '69 [D: 06/03/70]

MUSIC -
1950 Eugene Fodor, Turkey Creek CO, violinist (1972 Paganini Award, 1974 Tchaikovsky Award)
1952 Alan Clark, Durham England, keyboardist (Dire Straits-Sultans of Swing)
1958 Andy Gibb, Manchester England, singer/TV host (Bee Gees-Shadow Dancing) [D: 03/10/88]

SCIENCE -
1935 Philip K Chapman, Melbourne Australia, astronaut (Apollo 14 support)
1962 Robert L Curbeam Jr, Baltimore MD, CDR USN/astronaut (STS 85, sk-99)

SPORTS -
1938 Fred "The Hammer" Williamson, Gary IN, AFL/NFL/actor (M*A*S*H, Starsky & Hutch (2004))
1966 Michael Irving, Ft Lauderdale FL, NFL wide receiver (Cowboys) 1990s All-Decade Team
1976 Paul Konerko, Providence RI, (Reds, White Sox) 2002/2005 All-Star, 2005 AL Championship Series MVP

The Jest-A-Day Journal Today In History
1496 England King Henry VII issued letters patern to John Cabot and his sons, authorizing them to discover of unknown lands.
1770 Five Americans, including Crispus Attucks, are killed by British troops in an event that would help start the American Revolutionary War five years later.
1868 A court of impeachment is organized in the United States Senate to hear charges against President Andrew Johnson.
1912 Italian forces are the first to use airships for military purposes, using them for reconnaissance behind Turkish lines.
1923 Montana and Nevada become first states to enact old age pension laws.
1933 President Franklin D. Roosevelt declares a "bank holiday", closing all United States banks and freezing all financial transactions.
1934 Mother-in-law's day first celebrated (Amarillo TX).
1946 Winston Churchill uses the phrase "Iron Curtain" in his speech at Westminster College in Fulton, Missouri.
1960 Elvis Presley is discharged from a 2-year hitch in the United States Army.
1982 Russian spacecraft Venera 14 lands on Venus sends back data.
1991 Iraq releases all Gulf War prisoners.
1998 NASA announces that the Clementine probe orbiting the Moon has found enough water to support a human colony.
MORE EVENTS

The Jest-A-Day Journal World-Wide Celebrations - source http://www.earthcalendar.net/

SOURCE: Earth Calendar
Arrival of First Missionaries - French Polynesia
Customs Chiefs Day - Vanuatu
Missionary Day - French Polynesia

The Jest-A-Day Journal Humor For The Day
FAMOUS PEOPLE: NEXT JOB INTERVIEWS
Julius Caesar - My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. I'd like to get away from all that.

Jesse James - I can list among my experience and skills: leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of security measures at numerous banks.

Marie Antoinette - My management style has been criticized, but I'd like to think of myself as a people person.

Joseph Guillotine - I can give your company a head start on the competition.

Hamlet - My position was eliminated in a hostile takeover.

Lucretia Borgia - My greatest accomplishment? After I took over the department, our competition just seemed to drop out of sight one by one.

Pandora - I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering new things.

Genghis Khan - My primary talent is downsizing. On my last job, I downsized my staff, my organization, and the populations of several countries.

Macbeth - Would I go after my boss's job? Do I look like the kind of guy who would knock off his boss for a promotion?

Lady Godiva - What do you mean this isn't business casual?

Elvis - My last boss and I ... say, are you going to eat those fries?

The Jest-A-Day Journal Quote For The Day
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. - Jerome K Jerome (Three Men in a Boat, 1889)

The Jest-A-Day Journal Daffynition from WordFoolery
HARD WORK: The lather of success. (WordFoolery)

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