Welcome to the Jest-A-Day Journal published by Samantics Press
March 24th - Today is the 83rd day of the year, with only 282 days remaining in 2006.
Mars' Month - March was the original beginning of the year, and the time for the resumption of war.
March Flowers: Daffodil or Jonquil [Yellow] -  Affection, Cheerfulness, Desire, Grants Wishes, New Beginnings, Respect, and Sympathy
March Birthstone: Aquamarine, Bloodstone - Courage

Jest-A-Day Journal Celebrates Today's ThemeU.S. Automobile Sales Day
In 1898, Robert Allison of Port Carbon, Pennsylvania becomes the first person to buy an American-built automobile when he buys a Winton automobile that was advertised in Scientific American.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Moon Phases
"Universal Time" (UT) which is sometimes referred to, now colloquially, as "Greenwich Mean Time" (GMT)
LAST QUARTER - Mar 22   7:10 p.m.
NEW MOON - Mar 29   10:16 a.m.
FIRST QUARTER - Apr 5   12:01 p.m.
FULL MOON - Apr 13   4:41 p.m.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Humor List
From the Home Office in Wahoo, Nebraska, it's the Top Ten List for May 18, 2004
TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR CAR HAS TO BE RECALLED
10. Windshield wipers are on the inside
9. Salesman offered to knock $500 off your funeral
8. To make a right turn, you have to get out of car and physically turn wheels
7. You peel back the license plate and see "Saddam 1"
6. Feature that sets it apart from other cars? It's always on fire!
5. The "fan belt" spits venom and coils around your neck
4. Horn only audible to dogs
3. Bucket seats? Actual buckets
2. Dealer brags, "This is the car Stephen King owned when he wrote 'Christine'".
1. From transmission you hear the unmistakable cries of James Brolin"
©MMV, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Celebrity Birthdays
ACTING -
1887 Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle, Smith Center KS, actor (Keystone comedies) [D: 06/29/33]
1924 Norman Fell, Philadelphia PA, actor (Mr Roper-3's Company, The End, Graduate) [D: 12/14/98]
1930 Steve McQueen, Beech Grove MO, actor (The Great Escape, Bullitt, The Sand Pebbles) [D: 11/07/80]
1944 R. Lee Ermey, Emporia KS, retired Marine/actor (Full Metal Jacket, Mail Call)
1954 Robert Carradine, Hollywood CA, actor (Sam-The Lizzie McGuire Movie, Wavelength)
1960 Kelly LeBrock, NY NY, actress (Weird Science, Woman in Red)
1962 Star Jones Reynolds, Baden NC, attorney/TV hostess (NBC, Inside Edition, The View)
1964 Annabella Sciorra, Wethersfield CT, actress (Law & Order: Criminal Intent, The Sopranos)
1974 Allison Hannigan, Washington DC, actress (Willow-Buffy the Vampire Slayer, How I Met Your Mother)

ARTISTIC -
1874 Harry Houdini (Erik Weisz), Budapest Hungary, magician/escape artist [D: 10/31/26]
1911 Joseph Barbera, NYC, artist/animator (Hanna-Barbera/Cartoon Network Studios)
1940 Bob Mackie, Monterey Park CA, fashion designer (Streisand, Cher)

HISTORIC -
1755 Rufus King, Scarborough ME, framer of US constitution/(Senator-F) [D: 04/29/1827]
1898 Capt Dorothy Stratton, Brookfield MO, organizer (SPARS-women's branch of US Coast Guard)
1902 Thomas E Dewey, Owosso MI, governor NY '43-'55/ Presidential candidate '44, '48 (R) [D: 03/16/71]
1909 Clyde Barrow, Ellis County TX, bank robber (of Bonnie & Clyde fame) [D: 05/23/34]

MUSIC -
1922 Dave Appell, Philadelphia PA, singer/musician/songwriter (In the Midnight Hour)
1944 Patti Labelle, Philadelphia PA, singer/actress (Lady Marmalade) Hollywood Walk of Fame 1993

SCIENCE -
1834 John W Powell, Mt Morris NY, geologist/explorer ('69 Powell Geographic Expedition) [D: 09/23/02]
1897 Wilhelm Reich, Austro-Hungarian, psycho-analysist (character analysis) [D: 11/03/57]
1951 Kenneth S Reightler Jr, Patuxent MD, Capt USN/astronaut (STS 48, 60)
1957 Scott J Horowitz, Philadelphia PA, PhD/Col USAF/astronaut (STS 75, 82)

SPORTS -
1866 Jack McAuliffe, Cork Ireland, lightweight boxing champion, Hall of Famer [D: 11/05/37]
1893 George Sisler, Manchester OH, 1st baseman (257 hits in 1920) HoF '39 [D: 03/26/73]

The Jest-A-Day Journal Today In History
1765  The Kingdom of Great Britain passes the Quartering Act that requires the 13 American colonies to house British troops.
1882  Robert Koch announces the discovery of the bacterium responsible for tuberculosis (mycobacterium tuberculosis).
1900  New York City Mayor Van Wyck breaks ground for a new underground "Rapid Transit Railroad" that would link Manhattan and Brooklyn.
1947  Congress proposes 2-term limitation on the Presidency.
1947  John D Rockefeller Jr donates NYC East River site to the UN.
1958  Elvis Presley joins the army (serial number 53310761).
1964  Kennedy half-dollar issued.
1965  NASA spacecraft Ranger 9, equipped to convert its signals into a form suitable for showing on domestic television, brings images of the Moon into ordinary homes before crash-landing.
1976  Argentine President Isabel Perón deposed by country's military.
1989  Worst US oil spill, Exxon's Valdez spills 11.3 million gallons into Alaska's Prince William Sound.
1998  In Jonesboro, Arkansas, two boys (aged 11 and 13 years) fire upon students at Westside Middle School; four students and one teacher are killed and 10 injured.
2003  The Arab League votes 21-1 in favor of a resolution demanding the immediate and unconditional removal of US and British soldiers from Iraq.
MORE EVENTS

The Jest-A-Day Journal World-Wide Celebrations - source http://www.earthcalendar.net/

SOURCE: Earth Calendar
Covenant Day - Northern Marianas

The Jest-A-Day Journal Humor For The Day
MONEY FOR AN ELEPHANT
Two friends were standing at a bus stop when one gave a big sigh and said, "I wish I had enough money to buy an elephant."

His companion looked at him in astonishment and said, "What on earth would you do with an elephant?"

To which the first guy replied, "Oh, I don't really want an elephant; but, if I had enough money to buy an elephant, I'd be able to afford a car."

The Jest-A-Day Journal Quote For The Day
More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments. - Robert Orben

The Jest-A-Day Journal Daffynition from WordFoolery
TRAFFIC JAM: Where cars and people fume. (Wicked-Good Dictionary)

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