Welcome to the Jest-A-Day Journal published by Samantics Press
March 29th - Today is the 88th day of the year, with only 277 days remaining in 2006.
Mars' Month - March was the original beginning of the year, and the time for the resumption of war.
March Flowers: Daffodil or Jonquil [Yellow] -  Affection, Cheerfulness, Desire, Grants Wishes, New Beginnings, Respect, and Sympathy
March Birthstone: Aquamarine, Bloodstone - Courage

Jest-A-Day Journal Celebrates Today's ThemeKnow Your Stockbroker Day
On the day financier Michael Milken was indicted, take some extra time to know those who advise you on your investments.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Moon Phases
"Universal Time" (UT) which is sometimes referred to, now colloquially, as "Greenwich Mean Time" (GMT)
NEW MOON - Mar 29   10:16 a.m.
FIRST QUARTER - Apr 5   12:01 p.m.
FULL MOON - Apr 13   4:41 p.m.
LAST QUARTER - Apr 21   3:28 a.m.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Humor List
From the Home Office in Wahoo, Nebraska, it's the Top Ten List for October28, 1997
TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR STOCKBROKER IS IN A PANIC
10. Every time the Dow drops five points he passes out like a carp.
9. While he's screaming, "Sell!" you gently remind him the market has been closed for three hours.
8. Sold blue chips, bought potato chips.
7. To help with the sweating, he's wrapped himself in Bounty paper towels.
6. He prefaces each stock quote by yelling, "Survey says!"
5. Whenever his beeper goes off, he stabs his thigh with a letter opener.
4. He buys wheat, pork futures and lettuce in order to corner the lucrative "B.L.T." market.
3. Tried to stage hostile takeover of Microsoft with $60 and a cap gun.
2. According to his wife, the stock market isn't the only thing that's been plummeting.
1. Claims he has D
©MMV, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Celebrity Birthdays
ACTING -
1908 Arthur O'Connell, NY NY, actor (Mr Peepers, Second Hundred Years) [D: 05/18/81]
1927 John McLaughlin, RI, creator/executive producer/host (McLaughlin Group)
1939 Nancy Kwan, Hong Kong, actress (Flower Drum Song, Night Creature)
1943 Eric Idle, South Shields England, comedian/actor/director (Monty Python)
1957 Christopher Lambert, Great Neck NY, actor (Highlander, Greystoke, Why Me)
1959 Marina Sirtis, London England, actress (Deanna Troi-Star Trek: The Next Generation)
1964 Elle Macpherson, Sydney Australia, model (Sports Illustrated '86-88)/actress (Sirens, Friends)
1968 Lucy Lawless, Auckland New Zealand, actress (Xena: Warrior Princess)
1971 Ryan Mark Lambert, Cleveland OH, actor/singer (Kids Incorporated, Freeze Frame)

ARTISTIC -
1901 Carl Banks, Merrill OR, Disney illustrator/created Duckburg [D: 08/25/2000]
1936 Judith Guest, Detroit MI, novelist/screenwriter (Ordinary People)

HISTORIC -
1790 John Tyler, Charles County VA, (D/W) 10th President (1841-1845) [D: 01/18/1862]
1888 James E Casey, Candelaria NV, founder (United Parcel Service) [D: 06/06/83]
1916 Eugene J McCarthy, Watkins MN, (Sen-D-MN, Presidential candidate 1968) [D: 12/10/2005]
1918 Sam Walton, Kingfisher OK, billionaire CEO (Wal-Mart/Sam's Club) [D: 04/06/1992]
1937 Billy Carter, Plains GA, President's brother/endorsed Billy Beer [D: 09/25/88]
1954 Karen Ann Quinlan, Scranton PA, famous comatose patient (right to die case) [D: 06/11/85]

MUSIC -
1918 Pearl Bailey, Newport News VA, singer/actress (Hello Dolly) [D: 08/17/90]
1956 LaToya Jackson, Gary IN, singer (If You Feel the Funk)/posed for Playboy

SCIENCE -
1927 Sir John Vane, Tardebigg England, pharmacologist (Nobel '82-aspirin's inhibition of prostaglandin [D: 11/19/2004]
1941 Joseph Taylor, Jr., Philadelphia PA, astrophysicist (Nobel '93-discovered new type of pulsar)

SPORTS -
1867 Cy (Denton True) Young, Gilmore OH, winningest pitcher (511 wins, 1890-1911) [D: 11/04/55]
1917 Man O'War, racehorse (winner of 20 out of 21 races and $249,465) [D: 11/01/47]
1944 Denny McLain, Chicago IL, pitcher (Tigers) '68 AL MVP/Cy Young/31 wins
1955 Earl Campbell, Tyler TX, AFL running back (Oiler, Saints) Pro Bowls x5, HoF '91
1956 Kurt Thomas, Miami FL, gymnast (Olympics), actor (Gymkata)
1976 Jennifer Capriati, NYC, tennis pro/3 Grand Slams/Olympic gold '92

The Jest-A-Day Journal Today In History
1806  Construction authorized of the Great National Pike, better known as the Cumberland Road, becoming the first United States federal highway.
1848  Niagara Falls stops flowing for 30 hours due to an ice jam.
1867  Queen Victoria gives Royal Assent to the British North America Act which establishes the Dominion of Canada on July 1.
1867  Congress approves Lincoln Memorial.
1912  Captain Robert Scott, blizzard-bound in a tent 18 km from the South Pole, makes last entry in his diary "the end cannot be far".
1945  Last day of V-1 flying bomb attacks on England.
1961  After a 4½ year trial, Nelson Mandela is acquitted on treason charge.
1971  A Los Angeles, California jury recommends the death penalty for Charles Manson and three female followers.
1973  Last US troops leave Vietnam, 9 years after Tonkin Gulf Resolution.
1974  Mariner 10's, first fly-by of Mercury, returns photos.
1993  Catherine Callbeck becomes premier of Prince Edward Island and Canada's first female premier.
2006  Predicted total solar eclipse.
MORE EVENTS

The Jest-A-Day Journal World-Wide Celebrations - source http://www.earthcalendar.net/

SOURCE: Earth Calendar
Boganda Day - Central African Republic
Memorial Day - Madagascar
Youth Day - Taiwan

The Jest-A-Day Journal Humor For The Day
STOCK TIPS
I just received this from my broker. I don't normally pass on stock tips, but thought this explosive situation might prove to be another "Enron".

Please review any holdings you might have in the following stocks. American Can, Interstate Water, National Gas Co., Northern Tissue Co.

Due to uncertain market conditions, we advise you to sit tight on your American Can, hold your Water, and let go of your Gas. You may be interested to know that Northern Tissue touched a new bottom today, and millions were wiped clean!

The Jest-A-Day Journal Quote For The Day
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas'. - Claude D. Pepper

The Jest-A-Day Journal Daffynition from WordFoolery
FIRM BELIEVERS: Stockbrokers. (WordFoolery)

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