Welcome to the Jest-A-Day Journal published by Samantics Press
March 30th - Today is the 89th day of the year, with only 276 days remaining in 2007.

Jest-A-Day Journal Celebrates Today's Theme
National Doctor's Day
On this date in 1842, Dr. Crawford Long of Jefferson, Georgia, first used ether to save a patient from discomfort during surgery. Today, give a red carnation to your doctor as a thanks for modern medicine.

Jest-A-Day Journal Monthly facts
Mars' Month - March was the original beginning of the year, and the time for the resumption of war.
March Birthstone: Aquamarine, Bloodstone - Courage
March Flowers: Daffodil or Jonquil (Yellow) - Affection, Cheerfulness, Desire, Grants Wishes, New Beginnings, Respect, and Sympathy

The Jest-A-Day Journal Moon Phases
"Universal Time" (UT) which is sometimes referred to, now colloquially, as "Greenwich Mean Time" (GMT)
FIRST QUARTER - Mar 25   6:16 p.m.
FULL MOON - Apr 2   5:15 p.m.
LAST QUARTER - Apr 10   6:04 p.m.
NEW MOON - Apr 17   11:36 a.m.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Humor List
From "What The Queen Said", by Stoddard King:

THE DOCTORS
Nowadays there's little meaning
For a person to be gleaning
When a man attaches "Doctor" to his name
He may be a chiropractor
Or a painless tooth extractor
He's entitled to the title just the same.
Or perhaps he is a preacher
Or a lecturer or teacher,
Or an expert who cures chickens of the pip;
He may keep a home for rummies,
Or massage fat people's tummies,
Or specialize in ailments of the hip.
Everybody is a "doctor,"
From the backwoods herb concocter
To the man who takes bunions from your toes;
From the frowning dietitian
To the snappy electrician
Who shocks you loose from all the body's woes.
So there's very little meaning
For a sufferer to be gleaning
When a man attaches "Doctor" to his name.
He may pound you, he may starve you,
He may cut your hair or carve you,
You have got to call him Doctor all the same!

Jest-A-Day Journal Brain Teaser
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time. This little test should help you get started.

During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines if a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."

Okay, here's your test:
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket, as it is larger than the spoon."

What was the director's response?
(See answer at bottom)

The Jest-A-Day Journal Celebrity Birthdays
CULTURAL ARTISANS -
1853 Vincent van Gogh, Zundert, Netherlands, Post-Impressionist artist (Irises) [D: 07/29/1890]
1883 Jo Davidson, NYC, award-winning sculptor (Woodrow Wilson, Walt Whitman) [D: 01/02/52]
1913 Marc Davis, Bakersfield, CA, Disney animator/theme park character/animatronics designer [D: 01/12/2000]

ENTERTAINMENT CELEBRITIES -
1927 Peter Marshall (Ralph LaCock), Huntington, WV, TV game show host (Hollywood Squares)
1930 John Astin, Baltimore, MD, actor (Gomez-Addams Family, Freaky Friday)
1937 (Henry) Warren Beatty, Richmond, VA, Oscar/Golden Globe-winning actor (Heaven Can Wait, Reds)
1950 Robbie Coltrane, Rutherglen, Scotland, actor (Rubeus Hagrid-Harry Potter movies, Cracker)
1957 Paul Reiser, NYC, actor/author/stand-up comedian (Mad About You, The Thing About My Folks)
1968 Donna D'Errico, Dothann, AL, actress (Baywatch)/model (Playmate 09/95)
1970 Mark Consuelos, Zaragoza, Spain, actor (Mateo-All My Children, Agent Cortez-1-800-Missing)

HISTORICAL COMMUNITY -
1913 Richard Helms, Philadelphia, PA, Dir CIA 1966-73/ambassador to Iran 1973-76 [D: 10/23/2002]
1919 McGeorge "Mac" Bundy, Boston, MA, Nat'l Security Adviser under JFK/LBJ 1966–79 [D: 09/16/96]

MUSICAL INDUSTRY -
1913 Frankie Laine (Francesco LoVecchio), Chicago, IL, singer (Rawhide, I Believe)/ actor (Frankie Laine Show) [D: 02/06/2007]
1941 Graeme Edge, Rochester, England, drummer/songwriter (Moody Blues-Nights in White Satin, Your Wildest Dreams)
1945 Eric Clapton, Ripley, England, Grammy-winning guitarist/singer (Cream-Sunshine Of Your Love) R&R HoF 2000
1955 Randy Van Warmer, Indian Hills, CO, vocalist/songwriter (Just When I Needed You Most) [D: 01/12/2004]
1962 MC Hammer (Stanley Burrell), San Ysidro, CA, rapper (U Can't Touch This)/minister (TBN-MC Hammer)
1964 Tracy Chapman, Cleveland, OH, Grammy-winning singer/songwriter (Fast Car, Talkin' 'Bout a Revolution)
1968 Celine Dion, Charlemagne, CA-QC, Grammy/Juno-winning singer (I'm Your Woman, Beauty and the Beast)

SPORTS PERSONALITIES -
1940 Jerry Lucas, Middletown, OH, NBA center (NBA RoY '64/Olympics-gold-'60/HoF '80)
1970 Secretariat, Doswell, VA, race horse, triple crown ('73) [D: 10/04/89]

The Jest-A-Day Journal Today In History
240 BC 1st recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet.
1842 Anesthesia is used for the first time in an operation by Dr. Crawford Long.
1856 The Treaty of Paris is signed, ending the Crimean War.
1858 Hymen Lipman patents a pencil with an attached eraser.
1867 Alaska is purchased for $7.2 million, about 2 cent/acre ($4.19/sq km), by United States Secretary of State William H. Seward. The news media call this Seward's Folly.
1870 15th Amendment passes, guarantees right to vote regardless of race.
1945 A defecting German pilot delivers a Messerschmitt Me 262A-1 to Americans.
1951 Remington Rand delivers the first UNIVAC I computer to the United States Census Bureau.
1954 The first subway in Canada opens after five years of construction, in Toronto.
1981 President Ronald Reagan is shot in the chest outside a Washington, D.C., hotel by John Hinckley, Jr.
2006 Marcos Pontes is the first Brazilian astronaut in space.
2006 UK Terrorism Act 2006 becomes law.
MORE EVENTS

The Jest-A-Day Journal World-Wide Celebrations - source http://www.earthcalendar.net/

SOURCE: Earth Calendar
Birthday of Sultan of Kelantan - Malaysia
Doctor's Day - United States of America
Seward Day - United States of America
Spiritual Baptist Liberation Shouter Day - Trinidad & Tobago

The Jest-A-Day Journal Humor For The Day
HEALTH COSTS
A man goes to consult a specialist about his medical problem. After the visit the man asks, "How much do I owe you?"

"My fee is five hundred dollars," replies the physician.

"Five hundred dollars? That's impossible. No one charges that much!"

"In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to three hundred."

"Three hundred dollars? For one visit? Ridiculous."

"Well, then, could you afford two hundred?"

"Who has that kind of money?"

"Look, replies the doctor," growing irritated, "Just give me fifty bucks and get out."

"I can give you twenty," says the man. "Take it or leave it."

"I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in New York if you have no money?"

"Listen, Doctor," says the patient, "When it comes to my health, nothing is too expensive."

The Jest-A-Day Journal Quote For The Day
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The Jest-A-Day Journal Daffynition from WordFoolery
WITCH DOCTOR'S SPOUSE: Charmed wife.

The Jest-A-Day Journal Trivia Contest
TODAY'S QUESTION:
When taking the Hippocratic Oath, by which Greek god does the oath taker swear?
Email Today's Trivia Answer

YESTERDAY'S ANSWER:
Where does "Bull" and "Bear" come from? Some sources say that a bull knocks you up in the air (rising market) and a bear knocks you down (falling market). A bull is someone who believes the stock market will go up and a bear is someone who believes the stock market will go down. A bull market is a rising market and a bear market is a falling market.

Jest-A-Day Journal Chart Toppers-Source http://www.twtd.com/today.html
SOURCE: 440 International -Those Were the Days (TWtD)
1947
The Anniversary Song - Dinah Shore
How are Things in Glocca Morra - Buddy Clark
Managua, Nicaragua - The Guy Lombardo Orchestra (vocal: Don Rodney)
So Round, So Firm, So Fully Packed - Merle Travis

1956
The Poor People of Paris - Les Baxter
Heartbreak Hotel - Elvis Presley
Rock Island Line - Lonnie Donegan
Heartbreak Hotel - Elvis Presley

1965
Stop! In the Name of Love - The Supremes
Can't You Hear My Heartbeat - Herman's Hermits
Shotgun - Jr. Walker & The All Stars
King of the Road - Roger Miller

1974
Sunshine on My Shoulders - John Denver
Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede
Bennie & The Jets - Elton John
Would You Lay with Me (In a Field of Stone) - Tanya Tucker

1983
Billy Jean - Michael Jackson
Do You Really Want to Hurt Me - Culture Club
Hungry like the Wolf - Duran Duran
Swingin' - John Anderson

1992
Save the Best for Last - Vanessa Williams
Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton
Remember the Time - Michael Jackson
Is There Life Out There - Reba McEntire

Jest-A-Day Journal Brain Teaser
"No," answered the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

So, how did *YOU* do?

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